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Carolyn Hax: He doesnt want a baby unless its an accident

Or are you stressed and feel that having a baby to nurture would be a comfort to you right now? A therapist friend once told me she saw women having babies when they hit major stress points in their lives because the nurturing hormones are very soothing and give women the idea they can deal. She knew this because it was happening to her at that time. She compromised with her husband and they got a puppy; her urges for another baby went away pretty quickly. DEAR ANONYMOUS: Baby as stress-reducer, that’s a new one for me. And counterintuitive for sure, though babies do certainly clarify things for people who aren’t sure what they’re going to do with their time for the next 20 years. While “Deciding to have or not to have a baby seems like too enormous a decision for mere mortals” is a stunning abdication of responsibility, let’s indulge it for a minute. Yes, perhaps some divine influence will “decide” whether you conceive. But afterward, you “mere mortals” have to decide — every. single.

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